First comes love, then comes... cohabitation?
Cohabitation is something that has grown more and more common in today's day and age. It can be seen as a pre-test to marriage and it has become a step, or part of a relationships progression. Did you know that around 60%-80% of Americans cohabitate before marriage? This statistic surprised me; I knew that a large amount of people in the United States were living together before getting married, but I didn't realize that the percentage would be so high. Not shocking to me however, was the fact that couples who cohabitate before marriage are 3 times more likely to get divorced. This data made me really think about cohabitation and what about it could negatively impact an eventual marriage, or influence couples to never marry. These are some reasons I thought of:
1. Different titles mean different standards
"Wife" and "Husband" are very different from "Girlfriend" and "Boyfriend". With the new status comes more responsibility and more commitment. The two people in the relationship will start holding each other to higher standards than that of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
2. How can you trust if you can't commit?
I personally don't understand how a couple can trust one another if they can't fully commit to one another. I would be worried that my boyfriend would find another woman and leave me the next day without ever looking back. Some of you might say, "Well that's better than a cheating scandal and a messy divorce", which yeah, maybe it is, but you might not even be in that situation if there was the bond and commitment of marriage.
3. Cohabitation provides people with a comfortable level of commitment.
If you think about, when two people are cohabitating, they're committed to each other in multiple ways. They're sharing a living space together, they could possibly be sharing and combining each other's incomes, they might have children together, they're basically a married couple. So why don't they just get married? Well, marriage means full on commitment. If you're just living with someone and you decide you don't love them anymore, you can just leave with no repercussions. You can't exactly do that when you're married.
Here comes the bride...
The trend with marriage in our world today is the increase in the average age when a man or woman gets married. For a woman it's about 28 years old, and for a man it's 30 years old. I still think these ages are young, but I grew up where the culture included getting married in your early 20's. I personally don't see a terrible issue with this, unless it keeps increasing overtime, but I know plenty of people who got married in their 30's and early 40's and they're in happy, healthy relationships. Some people might be waiting to get married for the obvious, usual reasons, like not finding the right person, but it also could be influenced by the amount of people being more focused on their careers. People are wanting to be more successful in life and they might not see marriage a part of the success. Again, I don't necessarily have a problem with people getting married later in life, but it does make me wonder if it's negatively impacting the fertility rate.
Oh baby!
The fertility rate can most simply be defined as the average number of children a woman has throughout her lifetime. The fertility rate today is 1.7 and has been declining over time. Because women are getting married later in life, they have a smaller time frame to have children and start a family before they begin menopause. Aside from a biological idea on the matter, it seems like children are being less valued and seen more as an accessory, like a "purse dog" for the parent. Children are important because they are the future! The more children there are, the more future innovators, creators, and leaders there are!
Untying the Knot
Have you ever heard the saying that 50% of marriages will end in divorce? Did you know that it's not true? My professor brought up this statement and I was surprised that it wasn't the actual divorce rate. Someone PREDICTED that 50% of marriages will end in divorce if the divorce rate kept increasing, but the most accurate percentage of divorce is about 24%. Which isn't terrible, but any percentage of divorce is heartbreaking.
It's so interesting to see the trends of the family today and it will be even more interesting to see how these trends change in the future. Despite whatever happens to family, always remember that is is so very important!
