DATE: The Worst 4 Letter Word?

What emotion comes to mind when someone asks you out on a date? Is it panic- trying to figure out how to reject them in a nice way? Excitement- the person you've had a crush on finally wants to go out with you? Or maybe dread- you think dating is too formal and you'd rather hang out? Well, whatever emotion it is your feeling, "date" really can seem like a four letter word. People my age are starting to care less about dating, and more about hanging out. You might agree that hanging out is better than going on dates, it's easier, more relaxed, less expensive. But hanging out can actually be extremely destructive to a romantic relationship. First though, lets talk about what a date needs in order to be constituted as a date. 

A date needs the 3 P's: 

• Paired off: This means that even in a group date setting, everyone has their own specific person that they are supposed to be focused on. If a stranger saw a group of people on a date, they would be able to clearly identify who was with who. This is different than hanging out, where people can intermix and it doesn't matter who they sit next to or give their attention to. 
• Planned: The biggest difference, to me at least, between hanging out and going on a date, is the planning involved in both. Almost every time that I've hung out with someone, we don't know what we're going to be doing. We might have an idea, but nothing is set in stone. A date needs to be thought out and have a plan of action. When a date is planned, it shows the person you're taking out on the date that you care and are willing to sacrifice time for them. 
• Paid for: If you're going on a date, don't go "Dutch." I personally think that whoever is the instigator of the date should be the one to pay if any expenses arise. But I also think it's not bad if the date wants to chip in, like one person buys the movie tickets and the other buys the popcorn. 

The reason dating is so important is because these "3 P's" show that a person- typically a male (but hey females can ask guys out on dates too!)- can protect, preside, and provide. If you've been reading my previous blog posts, you'll know that protecting, presiding, and providing are essential roles for a father and husbands and they're qualities that every woman should be looking for in a future spouse. Hanging out with a potential spouse, rather than going on consistent dates with them starts establishing patterns that will last for a long time; how a couple acts before marriage will determine and influence how their marriage will turn out. If a couple only went on a few official dates before they tied the knot, do you think they're going to go on any more dates after they're married? Whereas, couples who consistently went on dates before they got married are more likely to continue to go on dates and stay close to each other. Also, if a husband and wife start having marital problems, they might be more willing to stay with each other and try to work things out when they can recall their numerous past dates and remember how caring, selfless, and loving they can be towards one another. 

"Date" really isn't a bad word, we just need to remember all of the beautiful, wonderful, good things that can come out of it.